Oh, here we go, folks. It’s the night before we hand over the keys to the country—not to grown-ups, not to patriots, but to a sweaty little mafia of insurrectionists, oligarchs, and fascists. And I’ve been chewing over Biden’s farewell address. You remember it? That strange little casserole of half-baked warnings, lukewarm self-congratulations, and a big, sappy love letter to America. It wasn’t inspiring. It wasn’t even convincing. It was like watching someone try to sell you a used car that’s already on fire. Mostly, it just made me sad.

Now, looking back at his words, knowing the disaster that’s about to unfold—and let’s be honest, the disaster we’ve already been living through—I can’t help but think about Biden’s challenge to the American people: a final dare to step up and save this thing. The thing is, it’s a hell of a lot easier to rally the troops if you didn’t already fumble the bag. But here we are.

Biden said, “In the past four years, our democracy has held strong.”

No, Joe, it didn’t. If democracy was “holding strong,” then why are we about to watch it get auctioned off for scrap? If democracy was “holding strong,” why are we staring down the barrel of every single thing you worked for getting bulldozed and reversed? You didn’t protect democracy from the guy who’s spent his whole miserable life trying to kill it. You didn’t. So no, Joe, the system didn’t “hold strong.” The system held the door open for its own destruction, like a butler welcoming the Grim Reaper.

Then Biden went on with one of his folksy little gems: “America is defined by possibilities.” Sure, Joe, but let’s be honest—this is the same country where it was possible for Donald J. Trump, a human embodiment of bankruptcy and spite, to become president in the first place. And not just once, mind you. He got there with a resume full of failures, lawsuits, and racism, and somehow half the country said, “Yeah, give him the nuclear codes.” And now, after four years of him turning democracy into his personal piñata, and another four years of plotting his comeback, here we are. So yeah, Joe, America is full of possibilities—terrifying ones.

Biden kept talking about how “the soul of America” is shaped by forces pulling us together and forces tearing us apart. Very poetic. But let’s be real: the forces pulling us apart? They’re not some abstract philosophical thing. They’re people. Specific people. The same people who turned the word “patriot” into a brand for their merch tables and decided facts were optional. And now those same people are walking into power tomorrow, and they’ve already got their knives out for democracy, civil rights, and anything else they can sell to the highest bidder.

And let’s talk about that Statue of Liberty stuff. Biden ended his speech with a whole bit about the “keeper of the flame” polishing the torch and standing guard for freedom. Nice story, but here’s the thing, tomorrow, that torch isn’t just in danger of going out. These goons are gonna rip it out of Colombia’s hand, melt it down, and sell it for scrap to the highest bidder. And they’re gonna do it in broad daylight, because they don’t care anymore. Subtlety went out the window with the MyPillow guy.

But you know what? That’s the one thing that gives me hope. They’re not hiding it. The racism, the fascism, the greed—it’s all out in the open now. And that means we see them. We see what they’re trying to do, and we can call it out. We can shine a light on it. Because that’s what keeping the flame really means. It’s not just standing there, polishing some symbolic torch. It’s staying awake, staying angry, and staying loud.

Tomorrow is gonna be a dark day folks. Hell, today is a dark day. There is absolutely no sugar-coating it. But we’ll be here, shining that light. Not just as a beacon of hope, but as a spotlight on every dirty deal, every con, every scam they try to pull.

Rest assured that they want us tired, cynical, and quiet, but screw that. You need to be the keepers of the flame now. Keep it burning as long as it takes. Please be courageous. Do not waiver. Do not be afraid.