All right, buckle up, because this is some premium-grade, industrial-strength absurdity we’re about to unpack. From the jump, mainstream media has been bending over backwards to cover Trump like he’s the second coming of Christ—or at least the third sequel to Sharknado. Instead of calling out the raging dumpster fire that is his presidency, they’re busy tap-dancing around the truth, soft-pedaling his abuses, and, in some cases, straight-up applauding him. Yeah, because what we really needed was a standing ovation for authoritarianism.

Take Politico, for example. They ran a headline that read, “Time to Admit It: Trump Is a Great President.” Great at what, exactly? Bankrupting casinos? Marrying Eastern European models? No, no, this wasn’t some MAGA fan fiction cooked up in a Facebook group. This was written by Politico’s own co-founder, John F. Harris, a guy who’s supposed to know better. He actually wrote this gem about Trump: “He is a force of history.” Yeah, so was the Black Plague, John. What’s your point?

And then there’s Trump’s Day One encore act: pardoning about 1,500 people connected to the January 6th attack on the Capitol. That’s right—while the rest of us were still trying to figure out why the country feels like a bad acid trip, Trump decided to give a giant middle finger to democracy and let the insurrectionists off the hook. These are the same people who brought zip ties to a riot and thought democracy was something you could beat out of a cop with a fire extinguisher. But hey, in Trump’s world, these guys are heroes.

You’d think the media would have something to say about this, right? Wrong. The Washington Post compared Trump’s insurrectionist pardons to Joe Biden preemptively pardoning people like Dr. Fauci and General Milley. You know, Fauci, the guy who spent two years saying, “Hey, maybe don’t lick doorknobs during a pandemic,” and Milley, the general who dared to suggest that Trump’s behavior was a little fascist-y. But yeah, sure, pardoning Enrique Tarrio—a guy who tried to overthrow the government—is totally the same thing as pardoning Fauci for, what, being competent?

And then there’s The New York Times, those linguistic contortionists who could turn a coup attempt into a “spirited policy debate.” Their take on Trump’s pardons? “In Dueling Pardons, an Intensified Fight Over the Meaning of Jan. 6.” Oh, please. The meaning of January 6th isn’t up for debate—it was a violent temper tantrum thrown by people who think democracy is a conspiracy theory. And the guy in the “Camp Auschwitz” hoodie? Yeah, pardoning that guy isn’t exactly a gray area.

But wait, it gets better—or worse, depending on how much faith you have left in humanity. At a Trump rally, Elon Musk—yes, that Elon Musk, the richest guy on Earth—decided to spice things up with a Nazi salute. Twice. And how did The Washington Post describe this charming little moment? An “exuberant speech.” Exuberant? That’s what you call your dog when it won’t stop jumping on guests. What Musk did was less “exuberant” and more “Oh, look, fascism is trending again.”

Meanwhile, The New York Times ran a piece headlined, “Elon Musk Ignites Online Speculation Over the Meaning of a Hand Gesture.” Oh, come on. Speculation? The man practically gave Hitler a LinkedIn endorsement, and you’re sitting there trying to figure out if it’s a secret message or a yoga move?

And don’t think NBC’s Chicago affiliate is off the hook. When Musk raised his arm in the salute, they conveniently cut to a shot of the audience. Because nothing says journalistic integrity like playing peekaboo with fascism.

All of this just proves one thing: the mainstream media has decided that holding Trump accountable is just too much work. They’d rather spend their time nitpicking Biden’s speeches and Kamala Harris’ wardrobe while giving Trump and his cronies a free pass to turn the country into a circus tent full of Nazis.

Here’s the deal, folks: the media isn’t failing because they’re clueless. They’re failing because they’re complicit. They’re not watchdogs—they’re lapdogs, sitting there wagging their tails while democracy gets mugged in broad daylight. And if we’re not careful, they’ll keep selling this circus until the whole damn country goes up in flames.