Somewhere between kombucha-fueled journaling sessions and Instagram carousel therapy, the Left lost the war.

Sun Tzu warned us like a prophet on a peyote high in a jungle bunker: If you know yourself but not your enemy, for every victory you gain, you will also suffer a defeat. And here we are. We know ourselves all right. We know our trauma triggers, our gender identities, our rising signs, our spirit animals, our preferred pronouns, and how to curate an aesthetic mental breakdown for TikTok.

But the enemy? Not a damn clue.

While my fellow liberals were busy building vision boards and exploring the politics of “vibing,” the hard right was out there stockpiling judges, rigging districts, banning books, outlawing drag shows, and rebranding fascism as freedom. You were lighting sage while they were lighting matches to Roe v. Wade. You were in the mirror whispering “I am enough,” while they were out redrawing the legal map to make sure you’re not even a person under the law anymore.

It’s not that self-discovery is useless. Far from it. Know thyself, yes. But Sun Tzu didn’t stop there. He gave you a two-part recipe: Know yourself, and know your enemy. Skip the second half, and you’re not a strategist—you’re a walking soft target with a matcha latte.

You cannot manifest your way out of authoritarianism. The enemy is not afraid of your mantras or your crystal grid. The enemy wants power. The enemy is organized. The enemy has a ten-point plan and a fundraising arm and a militia. You have a meme page and a podcast.

What motivates your enemy? Power. Control. Order. A return to a world where they make the rules and you thank them for the privilege of being stomped on.

What do you know of their plans? Nothing. Because you were too busy diagramming your gender on a whiteboard like it’s an NPR segment instead of a civilizational collapse.

So congratulations. You’ve found your truth. You know your vagenis and pagina, your inner child, your anxious attachment style, and which polycule constellation most reflects your soul. I love that for you.

Now shut up.

Because the people who’ve never once questioned their pronouns are already writing the rules you’ll live under for the next generation—and they aren’t using inclusive language. They’re using batons, gerrymandering software, Supreme Court appointments, AR-15s, and prisons in El Salvador to ensure you never see a judge, lawyer, family, or pride parade again.

Be formless, Sun Tzu said. Be soundless. Fine. But for God’s sake, be aware. Be dangerous. Be strategic. Be ready to strike when the opportunity presents itself. Because the war is already happening.

And if you don’t start fighting like you mean it, they won’t just take your rights.

They’ll take your goddamn glitter too.